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Note: Not a good idea for Mother's Day...
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I admit it. I was wrong. I mean, I'm a smart guy. But I didn't know girls poop. I can point out every specific part of the female reproductive system, and I know more about fertility and female reproduction organs most men (aside from male gynocologists) do (useful when avoiding impregnaing a girl). But yeah, I didn't know girls poop too.
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My friends know of my love for Steve Jobs. This pretty much sums it up.
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Many people don't believe in the power of the sexy unix lifestyle. The rivers will flow with the semen of the unbelievers!
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Well, this has happened more than once. One minute their IMing me dirtyness, the next they're righteously indignant and proud about their faithfulness. Finally, I got sick of it, and just ended all of it. Granted, it's not easy to turn down someone texting you something filthy, but it's way more trouble than it's worth.
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The tale of the cock-addicted girl returns, and this time it's shown just how much in denial of her addiction she is in.
Poor, poor girl.
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To the girls I tend to date, the above comic represents the ultimate insult.
So what are you? Ho? Or (dun dun dunnnnn) housewife?
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Here's a little form you can print out and give to your next retail love interest.
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These things, if you wish them to continue, are always best kept on the "DL".
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I know a few girls who go through vibrators faster than most people go through light bulbs. I think the world would beat a path to my door if I invented the "Ever-lasting Nob Slopper"; the vibrator that never wears out.
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Happy Non-Mother's Day! Okay, I said the holiday was on Friday, but I think it's better on Saturday. Especially for all you man-sluts like me who have quite a few girls to call up.
Anyway, Non-Mother's Day is celebrated every year the day before Mother's Day. It's the day I give thanks for not having ever made a woman a mother. If you're blessed with child, then I have nothing but joy for you. However, for those of us that are happy child-free, today is our day to shine.
So guys, call up your lady friends -- lovers past and present -- and tell them how much you appreciate not being a daddy.
Ladies, come Father's Day, I expect that same.
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In my line of work, I end up doing quite a bit of traveling. One aspect of traveling, if you're fortunate enough, is the wonder of hotel sex.
After you're finished, place all condoms, wrappers, and any other paraphernalia in a plastic bag (such as the bag from the drug store where you got your condoms). Tie it up, and place it in the trash. Don't throw condoms away in the trash, and certainly don't leave them on the bed or floor (or ceiling).
Remember that the hotel staff has to clean up after you, and the last thing they want to deal with is your spunk-filled latex surprises. Your booty karma will be increased by taking just a few moments to tidy up. p.
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There's a delicate political situation that even the most intense communist/socialist/anarchist won't even talk about: The Politics of Booty.
The politics of who gets to get it on with whom is still purely a free-market, capitalistic, rat race where the good looking, rich, and famous get all the spoils, leaving the rest to survive on the scraps. There are booty haves, and booty have-nots. This is true for the most ardent communist.
I'm not sure what the solution is, I can only do my part to be the have, and not the have-not.
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Don't hate me because lesbians find me attractive.
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Luckily, last week's comic about the pregnancy scare turned out to be false (those events took place last year). But then things got weird, when it turned out that M was obviously suffering from deep and troubling mental issues. I mean, it was obvious, since she liked me, she had to be.
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One of the primary differences between men and women is the ability to keep one's shit together during sexual stimulation. Men, we can get road head while driving a car. It helps us concentrate, and at times, we can see through space and time.
Women on the other hand, shouldn't be behind the wheel during sexual stimulation. I'm jealous actually, it seems like sexual stimulation must do more for women than us.
Anyway, I actually had this happen to me once. Luckily no one was killed. Except for that guy we hit.
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We guys are very lucky in this respect, our poking and probing is nothing compared to what women endure every year in their gyno exams.
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I've been fortunate enough lately to have spent some time (that wasn't under a window or in a tree) with some porn stars, and let me tell, I've learned a few things. Don't make the same mistakes I have.
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Well, she fought the vibrator, and the vibrator won.
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Having had House Lesbians for about a month, I've become spoiled over how neat they keep my place. As a result, I don't clean. Clothes pile up. Laundry doesn't get done. Jizz goes uncleaned, and flies around with impunity.
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Nothing like a little public sex to spicen up any love life. Personally, following the great Humpty Hump, I've done it in a Burger King bathroom. It was suprisingly clean.
However, there is an inherent risk to such an escapade, that can kill even the most erotic moods. That's when the person in the next stall had a medium sized woodland creature crawl up his or her ass, and die, and they picked just then to try to exorcize the rather pungent carcass.
With that in mind, it's a good idea to try to find a bathroom that is single-occupant only.
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Yeah, my secret desire has been to have a hot tub.
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Here's Steve's reaction to a love letter I sent him. I await him sending his Gulfstream V private jet to make our dreams come true...
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Well, it's been a while, but I'm back. I've got this and two others drawn. I don't know if this will be a sustained release (huh, huh) or just a short spurt, so we'll see.
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I think sex will be really fun in the future, and I don't think Star Trek does enough to explore the avenues of how sex will be hella fun via 23rd century technology.
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I have returned! And I bring you... Tales of Wang's Past. I explore all the stupid shit I've done, and how it lead to the nerd you read about today.
Today's tale is a tale of coercion. Sometimes, it's easy to coerce a statement out of someone you're in a relationship with in order to make the relationship fit what you want in your mind, without actually changing the nature of the relationship itself. The delusion is happy until your partner gets fucking fed up, and then initiates the break-up.
I've been on both sides of this. I've tricked someone into saying something, and I've been tricked into saying something. I've used it against them later, comforted by the feeling that I was wronged, and had the same done to me.
Now, of course, I realize I was the only one to have wronged, and I wronged her and myself for playing those stupid games.
My dear horny readers, I hope you've learned something from my tale of wang's past. Until next time...
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Oh, Happy New Year everyone. I think I forgot to mention that. Today's tale of debauchery is a true tale of obsession and lingerie.
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Introducing Canada's most feared asssassins: Hockey Ninjas.
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Breaking the sound barrier, the cock addict strikes...
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So here we have the thrilling conclusion to what I like to refer to as: The Canada Incident. In the end, it was their own monstrous creation that brought their doom. TV's Alan Thicke.
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