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It must be every horny space girl's dream to get caught up in a shuttle craft with a Vulcan during Pon Farr. If you're not a trekkie, or you've seen or have female genitals, Pon Farr occurs in Vulcan males every 7 years. They loose their Vulcan logic-induced cool, get super horny, and they've got to get t heir groove on no matter the cost. Spock almost knifed Kirk once to get some sp ace-tail. I guess it's payback for all those green aliens Kirk bagged
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My brother got me a Doctor Who video for Christmas. I fucking love Doctor Who, and it was a Tom Baker tape too, everyone's favorite Doctor Who. If you are unfamiliar with Doctor Who, it was a science fiction series running on the BBC for many years up until the early 80's, I believe. It started out as a dramatic radio show, and wound up as one of the earliest television series, not to mention one of the longest running. From the 60's to the 80's, there were several Doctor Who actors, although Tom Baker, from '79 to '83 I believe, was the best. The premise of the show was a man known only as "The Docotor", travelled around space and time in a space/time ship called the "Tardis", which was disquised as a british-style police box. He always had a hottie female companion with him, and although they never intimated any intimate relationships I got the impression The Doctor was the pimp of space and time, hence this one-panel strip.
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I tell you, the man versus machine war is looming, and it will literaly be MAN and not woman. Vibrators, robot gay/hetero transformers, we are going to be extinct soon.
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They laughed at Stephen Hawking about Hawking Radiation, they laughed at Einstein about Special Relativity, and now they laugh at me with my Glory Hole Theory. Sure, it's not an all-encompassing super-string theory that me rges Gravity with the other three universal forces, but it's important nonetheless. I'll prove them wrong, God dammit.
Which reminds me, glory hole porn is a largely unexploited vein (pardon the schlong-pun) and the possibilities are very boner encouraging. I am dismayed every time I see another cheerleader page while perusing www.thehun.net, and I think oh Christ, not another cheerleader. What a complete lack of origi nality. I'm sure the cheerleader stick was original and ground breaking at some point, but now it's just old hat. Where is the innovation? Where is the excitement? I don't think I'd get turned on anymore if a real cheerleader stripped down naked in front of me. I say the future is in glory hole porn, in 20 years it will be old hat, but for now, young and exciting.
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Here is another tribute to my friends at Penn State. The land of endless sexually liberated women. My friends, one in particular, put on such legendary festivals as Cunt Fest, and the Sex Faire. God damn. It's a boy's dream.
Some men when they go for sex, they may try a myriad of tactics to score the strange. Not me, when I feel that itch (figurative), I head straight for Penn State.
The comic is a bit of a spoof, if you get the reference you get a cookie. Actually, no you don't.
People have reached this page specifically doing searches for Penn State Sluts, it's amazing:
141.158.192.95 - - [15/Apr/2002:19:39:21 -0400] "GET / HTTP/1.1" 200 30407 "http://google.yahoo.com/bin/query?p=Penn+State+sluts&hc=0&hs=0" "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 5.01; Windows 98)"Pretty wild, eh?
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Men have long fought a fundamental battle with vibrators and other sexual toys. This is why, when push comes to shove, we are going to lose. My advice? Buy your woman (or women) a vibrator.
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Now ladies, I'm always prepared. I mean always. I don't got to go to the store to get me some jimmie-hats, I've got one on right now. Honest. Swear to God.
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Alright guys, women can sometimes get a little... frisky... when it's their time of the month. But beware of Aunt Flo, she doesn't leave the room for the love play stuff!
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And as quickly as she arrives, she leaves. To return (so us guys hope) again the next month.
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It's been a while since I've put one up, I believe I am about a week overdue. But I have a good excuse. You see, at Glory Hole Labs, we are making breakthroughs everyday in the new and exciting field of glory hole physics. We are working hard for a better tomorrow.
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Be careful the women from Penn State, for they are insatiable...
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Welcome back to Tales From The Crackpipe. Our hero, known only as The Fetus, confronts one of the lesser known hazards to being the fetus to a prostitute.
I stopped doing Tales From The Crackpipe a while ago, as once I started to know people who had actually smoked crack, it became not-funny.
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I've been pretty lucky with the ladies. In this strip, you can see why.
Every aspiring comic artist has their heroes, those whom they look up to for inspiration. Mine have been Jim Davis (Garfield), Berkeley Breathed (Bloom Country, Outland), Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes), and the boys over at Penny Arcade. However, my greatest comic hero is Adam Thrasher of Space Moose fame. He is very easily my favorite Canadian.
I sent him the Glory Hole series, as the first one resembles a strip he did (I cannot find it in the Space Moose archive, however it is in his book). The direction the Glory Hole series went was completely different. Such praise from a hero is a very good thing. You can see why this man is such a genious in the email.
Well done! Upon reading the first strip, I thought I was looking at yet another brazen Space Moose rip-off, but I like where you took it in strips #2 and #3. I encourage you to continue with the professor's adventure in the Cock Dimension. He should eventually meet the Cock Emperor and become embroiled in the Cock politics (polidicks?). Will uncircumcized outlaws overthrow the despot? Will a cure be found for the flaccidity epidemic in the East? Will war be declared against the Cunt Dimension? I wanna know!I think I have a stiffie now.
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Exploration always has its perils. The unexpected can occur. Who knew a 6 foot glory hole would result in a 6 foot wide cock?
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It's an actual, documented affliction, this "Maple Fever". Symptoms include knowledge of Canadian politics, being able to name more than three Canadian cities, and of course, the unnatural sexual attraction to Canadians of your sexual preference.
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Wow, it's been a long time. But it's OK, baby, I'm back. I'm here for you. I have brought the requisite comics. I know you'll like them. Because that's how I roll.
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This is based on a true story. There really does exist a vegan strip club. I have to think it's some sort of trap for me. Otherwise, they've got a target market of one. Me.
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This is the male version of the last comic, illustrating the many options presented to us men (ok, so maybe it's just me, I thought this comic thing would get me laid, guess I was wrong).
At some point, I'll get funnier. I promise.
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Think of the endless possibilities with this Glory Hole Technology. We could travel the stars, if we could figure out a way to avoid all of the cocks.
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Most modern video cameras don't actually use tape, they use video files stored on hard drives of flash memory. So do we call them sex files now? Sex videos? Sex M-pegs? Perverted minds ponder these things.
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